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Like Nelly Oaks and Akothee, here’s the risk you run in spending time with an ex

By Winnie Mabel December 8th, 2023 2 min read

In mid-2022, sensational singer Esther Akoth, popularly known as Akothee, confirmed that she and her former manager, Nelly Oaks, born Nelson Oyugi, had ended their romantic relationship.

A mother of five, Akothee said she walked out of the relationship due to personal reasons and concentrated on her newfound happiness with fewer distractions.

“I need to work on myself and my career, I am not ready for any commitment, questions or answers to what transpired just didn’t want to hurt anyone. But sorry it is what it is,” said Akothee in June 2022.

Less than a year later, in April 2023, Akothee was getting married to her Swedish husband, Denis Schweizer, in an extremely lavish wedding.

People spent quite some time reminding Nelly Oaks of what he had lost now that Akothee was a married woman.

But the marriage lasted a mere two months before Akothee filed for divorce, and weeks later, she popped up with Nelly Oaks by her side again in July 2023.

Speculation was rife that the two had rekindled their love affair. The two have been spending a lot of time together and are back to gushingly posting each other on social media- a modern-day approved stamp that a relationship is stable.

Singer Akothee with her former manager and lover Nelly Oaks. PHOTO | COURTESY

While the two claim that they haven’t rekindled their love, their mannerisms and utterances have given contrary hints. Akothee claimed Nelly was more than an ex to her.

He was her saviour when she was facing depression and suicidal thoughts. She gushed over him, insinuating there was more to the relationship than she was letting on.

And just like Akothee and Nelly Oaks, here are the risks you run in spending quality time with an ex…

You risk losing out on future love and enduring loneliness, especially if you had been talking to someone else or someone was eyeing you.

The vague relationship between the two of you that sometimes crosses certain boundaries will have people avoiding you as word spreads that you are allegedly back together with your ex, even if you aren’t.

You also risk experiencing worse heartbreak if the amount of time you spend in an ex results in the both of you getting back together and having issues much worse than the first time you broke up.

Premium character development may collect its assistants and return to teach you the proper lesson you didn’t learn the first time- like once bitten, twice shy.

Additionally, you also run the risk of losing face. Nelly Oaks was taunted when Akothee got married but now he is back in her orbit. The taunting is back, and the criticism is top-notch. Spending time with an ex following a highly publicized breakup will have people claim you are a glutton for pain, have no backbone to stick to resolutions and simply don’t know what is best for yourself.

Finally, you may risk ending up settling with someone you never intended on settling down with.

The familiarity and memories of former love may ‘trick’ you into thinking that rekindling a romantic relationship would benefit you.

However, some of these relationships don’t last long because memories of past hurt also return, but you find you are already committed to your ex again. Would you be able to live with the regrets, or would the both of you rather embark on another highly publicized breakup?

Many would opt to remain in the relationship to ‘prove’ critics wrong about their reuniting.