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PART 2: What the Nairobi Woman really wants

The Nairobi woman is arguably the most misjudged in our population.

The menfolk imagine that she wants money, so they break their bank accounts trying to give her a fantasy. When she isn’t impressed, she is labelled as being too demanding. She isn’t. You just aren’t meeting her needs.

Here’s what she really wants – and it’s not much.

1. Strength – A woman wants to feel your presence in her life. She needs you to have both physical and mental strength. You do not need to be a weightlifter for her to appreciate your physical strength. She just needs to feel secure around you.

Take every chance you get to show her that you can protect her. Step in during times of conflict. She needs to be able to bank on your intelligence and to trust that you can exercise self-control. Giving her this sense of security is the first step to warming your way into her heart.

2. Loyalty – A woman wants blind loyalty from her man. She needs to feel special, to be looked at as if she is the only woman in the whole wide world. When you leave the house in the morning, she needs to be sure that she is the only woman that you have eyes for. The only woman that you desire. Give her this and in return, she will love you freely and fiercely.

3. Romance – Listen up gentlemen, romance does not mean money. This is where most men go wrong. The average Nairobi woman wants to be romanced. How successful you are at this will not be measured by the amount of money you spend but the thoughts that you put to it.

Kiss her in public, hold her hand, and bring her flowers once in a while. They do not have to be expensive, you just need to have bought them. If you are strapped for cash, leave her hand written notes, be thoughtful.

More often than not, men do some of these things when they are trying to woo a woman, why stop once she falls for you?

4. Initiative – Do not believe it one bit when a woman talks about independence and how much she likes to be in charge. She may be in charge of her life but when it comes to relations with you, she wants you to take charge. It doesn’t matter how many zeros she has in her pay check, she needs to be able to let go of the reigns once in a while.

5. Passion – When men are together in a group, they talk about business, politics or sports. Women on the other hand discuss men and sex. This goes a long way in showing a woman’s need for sensual stimulation.

Whisper naughty things in her ears, touch her, ignite her imagination. Be affectionate in ways that do not necessarily lead to sex.

6. Effort – The Nairobi woman is not a gold digger. That said, she wants to be able to give her brood a better life than she had growing up. For you to be able to win her, she needs to be able to believe in your abilities.

You may not have the corner office and may not drive an expensive German machine, but she however needs to see that you are actively trying to make your life situation better than it is. Give her something to work with. Show some potential.