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Why age gaps matter in modern relationships – Gen Z speak

The common adage that goes ‘Age is just a number’ does not necessarily resonate with many modern romantic engagements.

Looking at the evolution of relationships over the years, aside from gender roles, age is the only other thing that challenges the dynamics of how two romantically involved individuals engage.

The older generations, that is to say, Gen X and Baby Boomers didn’t have to deal so much with the conflicts of big age gaps when it came to choosing a life partner as the choice of selection was entirely up to their parents or a significantly arranged union by elders.

Also read: The rise of age-gap relationships and women dating younger men

However, in today’s society, the freedom to choose our own partners has led to a more diverse landscape of relationships, including those with significant age gaps. Young adults today are navigating a world filled with diverse aspirations and priorities, which can cause a rift between people of different age groups trying to navigate a romantic relationship.

Whether it’s pursuing a career, travelling, or exploring personal passions, individuals in their 20s and 30s often have distinct goals that they value and are unwilling to waver. When an age gap is significant, it can lead to differences in life stages and priorities, which can, in turn, affect the harmony of a relationship. For instance, one partner might be eager to settle down and start a family, while the other is still focused on personal growth and exploration.

One thing I can confidently say about age gaps is that they can hinder the ability to relate on certain levels. Young adults may find it challenging to connect with someone significantly older or younger because they have different cultural references, childhood experiences, and generational perspectives.

While society has become more accepting of diverse relationships, age gaps can still invite judgment and scrutiny from others. Many young adults in such relationships find themselves navigating not only their own feelings but also the perceptions and biases of family, friends, and society at large. Does age gap really matter in modern relationships?

Also read: 10 Ways of repairing a damaged relationship

Sarah Wangui, 25 years old shared, “I’m in a relationship with someone who is 10 years older than me. At first, I didn’t think much about the age gap, but over time, I’ve realized that it does matter. Our life experiences and priorities are sometimes quite different. For example, he’s more focused on his career and financial stability, while I’m still exploring my career and want to travel. These differences can lead to misunderstandings and challenges.”

Mark Gichuhi, 30 years old offered a different perspective, saying, “Age gaps can actually be beneficial in some cases. My partner is 5 years younger than me, and it’s refreshing to have someone with a different outlook on life. We learn from each other, and it keeps our relationship dynamic and interesting. Of course, we do face some challenges, like when it comes to making long-term plans, but overall, I think age is just one factor among many in a successful relationship.”

Maryann Gacheru, 22 years old expressed, “I’ve dated someone older before, and it didn’t work out. The age gap made me feel like I had to grow up faster and adapt to their lifestyle. I felt like I was missing out on some of the experiences people my age typically have. Now, I prefer to date within a few years of my age because it’s easier to connect and relate to each other’s life stages.”

Also read: Celebrity breakups: ‘Couple goals’ whose marriages did not last