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Why cheating partners lose interest in their affairs after getting caught


In today’s society, infidelity is another tale as old as time. It has been normalized as just another phase of the life of relationships, excused as polygamy and celebrated as an achievement that a person can handle multiple romantic partners as well. So shameless has society become that we now have sponsors and blessers either actively seeking partners with little financial muscle or outsiders are seeking married and moneyed people to fund their ‘soft life’ lifestyles.

Some people cheat because they are unhappy or dissatisfied with the relationship they currently are in, have insecurities and low self-esteem and so go out looking for validation, because they have the opportunity to cheat, lack or fear commitment because they feel trapped or suffocated, as a means of emotional or revenge affair; and out of poor impulse control- they don’t fully understand the consequences of what infidelity will do to their partner or the relationship.

And because we live in a digital age, it has become extremely easy for a cheating partner/spouse to get caught in the act. The irony is that when they went around enjoying these affairs (some being long term), the enjoyed the thrill of it- meeting in secret, illicit badminton and spontaneous dates but once they get caught by their partners, suddenly they get bored of these affairs. Here’s why…

When a cheating spouse’s actions are exposed and their partner discovers the affair, they may experience feelings of guilt, remorse and regret. These emotions can lead to a shift in their perspective, causing them to reassess the affair and its impact on their relationship and family. The weight of guilt may dampen the excitement and allure of the affair, making it less appealing over time.

The discovery of the affair often results in significant consequences and challenges for both the cheating spouse and their partner. This could include emotional turmoil, relationship strain, potential separation or even divorce. The realization of the consequences and the impact on their family can lead the cheating spouse to reevaluate the affair and recognize the damage it has caused, leading to a decrease in interest and investment.

In the aftermath of the affair being discovered, the couple may choose to work on rebuilding trust and repairing their relationship. This process typically involves open communication, couples therapy and a commitment to addressing the underlying issues that contributed to the affair. As the focus shifts towards repairing the primary relationship, the cheating spouse may find their attention and interest waning in the extramarital affair.

The revelation of an affair can serve as a catalyst for self-reflection and self-realization for the cheating spouse. They may come to understand the reasons behind their actions such as unresolved personal issues or dissatisfaction within themselves. This process of introspection can lead to personal growth and a desire to address their own emotional needs within the context of their primary relationship, making the affair lose its appeal.

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