Nairobi News

Money matters can be a source of both joy and strife in relationships.

While we often hear about infidelity in the context of romantic entanglements, there’s another type of betrayal that can wreak havoc on partnerships: financial infidelity. 

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It’s an insidious secret that can damage trust, strain communication, and leave emotional scars. Now I believe that when you choose to settle with someone you also choose to consciously share personal details of who you are and what you have. This includes money matters. When it comes to finances, some couples may choose to keep secrets for reasons that range from the practical to the deeply personal which may significantly cause a rift between partners. 

One common motive is the desire for autonomy and control over one’s own finances, especially in relationships where there is a power imbalance. By maintaining financial secrecy, one partner can retain a sense of independence and avoid potential judgment or control from their significant other.

Let’s not forget the fear of reprisal or conflict. Money can be a source of tension, and some individuals may resort to hiding financial information as a way to avoid arguments or protect themselves from perceived consequences. They may believe that by keeping financial secrets, they are maintaining harmony in the relationship, even though it may come at the cost of trust and long-term damage, hence financial cheating. 

Financial infidelity is like a sneaky spy that infiltrates relationships, leaving a trail of deceit behind. It can take various forms, from secret bank accounts and undisclosed debts to clandestine purchases and covert investments. These actions may stem from a fear of judgment, a desire for control, or a sense of entitlement. However, regardless of the motive, the consequences can be devastating, as trust will no longer be the foundation of a once-so-strong relationship or marriage. 

Trust is the bedrock of any relationship, and financial infidelity can shatter it to pieces. Discovering that your partner has been hiding financial information can be an emotional earthquake. Feelings of betrayal, anger, and confusion may arise as a result, and they can erode the foundation of love and respect that once held the relationship together. The revelation often leaves the deceived partner questioning what else has been hidden.

However, if we’re being honest, not all financial information should be shared with a partner regardless of how close you may be. At the end of the day, one must hold a sense of independence for oneself and keep some financial matters private. Not necessarily a secret. 

But where does one draw the line between keeping financial matters a secret and private? What should you reveal to your partner and what should you keep to yourself in order to maintain balance and trust in a relationship or marriage? 

Well, first off, open communication. Open communication calls for a sense of vulnerability and a shared commitment to make things work in all aspects of the relationship. The journey is not easy, but it is possible. An honest conversation about money matters where both partners get to express their feelings and concerns without judgment is a very good place to start. The conversation may be hard and uncomfortable as it may require you to be honest with your partner about the amount of money you make, but if your intentions with your partner are genuine and long-term, then there shouldn’t be a problem letting them in on how you make and handle money.