Nairobi News

If I were to give any adult man or woman two pieces of advice they would be; Perfect your sex game, and ignore what society says about sex not being an important part of a relationship or marriage. 

Sex is often deemed the unspoken secret ingredient that can either elevate or shatter the foundation of a partnership, and if you don’t know that in this day and age then you’re in for a lot of trouble, and heartbreak.

If anything, sex is an intricate dance of desire, connection, and vulnerability that can weave individuals closer together or leave them feeling emotionally adrift. While it is widely acknowledged that sexual compatibility is vital, society tends to shy away from discussing the impact of unsatisfying sexual experiences on long-term relationships.

However, a tale of a friend of mine, let’s call her Jane, sheds light on this often-neglected aspect, revealing how bad sex can erode the very fabric of an otherwise perfect relationship.

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For Jane, everything about her relationship with her fiancé seemed flawless, except for one glaring issue: the sex. While the mechanics of their intimate encounters were satisfactory, it failed to ignite the passionate flame she yearned for. As they progressed towards marriage, Jane mustered the courage to discuss her concerns with her partner, hoping for a resolution. Sadly, this discussion only fueled hurt feelings and resentment, leaving their once-promising union teetering on the precipice.

“Everything about my relationship with my fiancé was perfect, except for the sex. The mechanics of it were fine, it just wasn’t the kind of sex that I could see myself having for the rest of my life. I talked about it with my ex, especially after we got engaged, but it turned into hurt feelings on his part and resentment on mine,” Jane shared with me over a midday snack on a cold afternoon.

The pivotal moment arrived when Jane, wrestling with doubt and curiosity, made a controversial decision: she cheated. This act, driven by her yearning to explore the possibility of deeper sexual fulfillment, ultimately shattered her engagement. 

“I cheated to see if it was a shallow situation; it wasn’t. Believe it or not, I broke off the engagement because, when I saw that sex could be more than what I was getting, I figured that I was overlooking some other real needs too,” she led on. 

Also read: 8 tips on how to stop yourself from cheating on a partner

Astonishingly, Jane’s revelation serves as a reminder that a lackluster sex life can signify deeper issues in a relationship, potentially overshadowing other vital needs that may have been neglected. 

Sex is a fundamental expression of intimacy and connection, a sacred space where lovers bare their souls and explore uncharted territories. When this dimension is unsatisfactory or out of sync, it can sow seeds of discord within the relationship. Bad sex can lead to frustration, disappointment, and a growing sense of emotional disconnection, slowly corroding the once-strong bond between partners. It can erode trust and breed resentment, as unspoken desires and unmet needs pile up, creating an ever-widening chasm.

The impact of bad sex on relationships cannot be underestimated. It can manifest as a pervasive feeling of unease, leading to increased arguments, decreased emotional closeness, and a general sense of dissatisfaction. As the resentment festers, partners may find themselves withdrawing, seeking solace and fulfillment outside the relationship. 

In Jane’s case, her decision to cheat was a desperate attempt to discover if her dissatisfaction stemmed solely from shallow desires or if it was indicative of deeper unmet needs. Her heartbreaking journey serves as a poignant example of how the neglect of this crucial aspect can lead to the downfall of even the most seemingly perfect relationships.

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