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Over 25 but still asking for fare! Kenyan men on dating dilemma

The topic of ‘Kukula fare’ has seemingly frustrated Kenyan men to a fault. Now, more than ever before, men are very cautious of whom they send money for cab fare and who they snake for being oddly suspicious or having a record of ‘Kukula fare.’

The once very minute issue in society has now turned into a fire-blazing conversation on social media with many men who have fallen victim to fare schemes by women coming together to share in their agony and traumatizing experiences. 

Men have become distrusting of women they meet at clubs and public spaces when it comes to sending them money for fare to go visit them at their houses.

Instead, men nowadays opt to pay directly to the driver of a cab once their date arrives at the said destination. They prefer taking a woman shopping and paying for her goods rather than sending her the money. This has slowly and gradually become the coping mechanism for Kenyan men on the streets. 

However, what happens when the woman asking you for fare all the time is your girlfriend? What happens when you become a financial anchor to your girlfriend that you feel financially drained?

I came across a conversation on Reddit about a man claiming that his 25-year-old girlfriend has turned him into a money machine. According to the Kenyan man, his woman depends on him for fare and other expenses despite having a hustle of her own. 

This begs the question, is there an age limit to when a woman should stop asking for financial aid or fare from men, including their partners?

Putting a strain on their relationship, however, John Doe on Reddit decided to seek counsel from his followers on how he can go about his situation seeing as leaving her is not an option out of the love he has for his girlfriend. 

John Doe’s text reads: “I’m seeing this lady, well have been seeing her for the past 1 year and a few months and she just moved temporarily to Kilifi. She’s not employed but works for her sister currently to earn some small chums. We are to meet up next week and she just asked me for fare. She’s not a stranger so that shouldn’t be so bad? We’ve been dating for a while now.

“However to put this into context, when she was in Nairobi and anytime we were to meet up, it was either I go pick her up or send her cab money, she’s never once spent a dime. And yes, I talked about this with her and her manipulation tactic was to ask me what is love. I told her it is deep affection, just to keep it simple and her response was ‘Love is action.’

“I love her to be honest, but I’m tired of being with someone so financially draining, it’s not just fare in this case, she’s the type of woman that won’t even use her 10 shillings for anything cause the man is the ‘provider’. Everything else about her is OK but financially I don’t want such a parasite to be honest.”

Below are the responses from some of his followers and other internet users.

AggravatingDig1855: Date women who like you.

Jealous_Pollution_50: A woman who likes you will easily spend her money 💯.

NovelSea2338: A woman who likes you also won’t mind spending 💰 on you.

EmployeeHot6414: I’ll also add- date women you like. If you prefer one who never needs fare, don’t settle for anything else.

Tishden: What’s the ‘action’ on her part? Women actually spend on men they really like.

Primary_Inspector578: To be very honest, nothing. If she comes over to my place, it’s either she’ll expect to find food already cooked or we make an order. The only “action” she has ever done is wash the dishes.

Jealous_Pollution_50: Me Niko campo school and work is hard to manage but I have a gf who does everything. The house is always super clean, she always cooks but I hire someone to do the laundry juu pia inalisha watoi wake.

My gf works with me too. I take half the time to complete my tasks. She’s been a great blessing.

Unaweza kuwa na dame Hana a lot but effort anaput in itakushow she’s really there. The fact that imebidii uulize strangers means that you already know the answer to your questions but you’re looking for second opinions.

Kuwa straight na yeye and tell her what you’re looking for in a woman, kaa hawezi fika Bei mupeane space juu pia maybe you’re not what she’s looking for.