Polygamy gone wrong: Lessons from Samidoh, Edday, Karen Nyamu drama
Polygamy is the practice of having multiple spouses simultaneously. Whether or not polygamy is suitable for everyone is a subjective question that depends on personal beliefs, cultural norms and legal regulations.
In some cultures, polygamy is accepted and legal, while in others it is prohibited or largely frowned upon. In societies where polygamy is allowed, it is often practiced within specific religious or cultural contexts.
Some individuals may find fulfillment and happiness in a polygamous relationship structure like nominated Senator Karen Nyamu who is finding happiness with someone else’s husband, musician Samidoh, while others may prefer monogamy, like his wife, Edday Nderitu, who swore she would never be part of of a polygamous marriage after enduring national humiliation, mockery and violence since Nyamu walked into her marriage.
And so, what lessons can be learnt from this ‘throuple’ as the drama ensues of Nyamu bragging about bagging a married man while his wife continues to find peace with her children thousands of kilometers away from them in America?
The first lesson is that Samidoh should have been honest and communicated his intentions with Edday. The choice of whether or not to engage in polygamy should be made consensually and ethically by all parties involved, respecting their personal choices and frameworks within the culture and society which they live in.
In this instance, Samidoh forced Nyamu on Edday, at times pretended he had broken up with Nyamu and returned to his wife’s side only to emerge on the other end with Nyamu and posting sensual content on social media.
The second lesson to learn is how to maintain a power dynamic in a polygamous relationship in light of how Samidoh continues to fail in doing so. Polygamy often involves a man with multiple women. This can create power imbalances and inequalities within the relationships. It may result in favoritism, jealousy and potential mistreatment of certain spouses.
Unequal power dynamics can undermine the emotional well-being and autonomy of individuals involved. The power dynamic here appears to be that Nyamu seems to have Samidoh wrapped around her small finger owing to her political position and he is powerless to take care of Edday’s needs as his wife.
Thirdly, maintaining multiple intimate relationships simultaneously can be emotionally challenging. Jealousy and competition among spouses may arise, potentially leading to conflict and unhappiness within the relationships. This can be evidenced with how Nyamu and Edday ended up fighting in Dubai when Samidoh was on his Mugithi Tour.
In the end, he ended up walking away with his wife, leaving an emotionally distraught Nyamu to go on social media and rant about how the relationship was taking a toll on her life before she swore she was leaving Samidoh – only to later run back to him a few weeks later. You only have to look at how far Edday has now gone to get away from Samidoh and his mistress to lick her wounds and protect their children.
Another lesson to learn when polygamy goes bad based on Samidoh and his women is that one must consider the legal complications and potential social stigma for individuals involved in polygamous relationships. It can affect inheritance rights for all children involved, access to healthcare, custody of children and other legal protections.
Despite Nyamu seemingly being rich and can purchase alcohol worth Sh420,000 for Samidoh, whatever he owns will have to be divided between children born in his marriage and out of wedlock- and as history shows, this often turns into an ugly fight if the man of the house hasn’t set things in order before meeting their maker.
On the stigma part, Nyamu is only now learning that people do not like associating with home wreckers, evidenced by her confession at Akothee’s wedding that she is no longer invited to social gatherings because of her infamous love life.
Edday too faces stigma for allegedly being ‘selfish’ and not wanting to share her man despite men of old peacefully living with several wives and all thrive.
She also faced the stigma that she could not maintain her man and that is why he ran to another woman- even though she seemingly did not do anything wrong to warrant an affair blamed on her.
In all this, Samidoh jumped in head first and did not think about what he would do when his polygamous lifestyle intentions imploded on him. As it is, he will continue riding the wave wherever it leads and insulting people on social media who criticize him.