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Valentine’s Day no-nos: 7 phrases to avoid at all costs

By Winnie Mabel February 14th, 2024 2 min read

Millions of men and women woke up to beautifully worded messages of love and affection on February 14. Messages dreamt up overnight and timed to be sent at exactly midnight.

And as these millions read these messages, feeling their veins warm up with the reddest of blood around, their hurts pumped back out ‘drunk in love’ messages to their lovers.

‘You are my moon’, ‘You make life worth living’, ‘You are the milky way in my galaxy’, ‘You are the reason why I look forward to waking up everyday’. Any cheesy love message you can think of, they are being sent out today- in their billions.

Hope you woke up to a lovely Valentine’s Day?

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Does the world really need a Valentine’s Day?

But for millions others, Valentine’s Day heralds feelings of dread. Dread that it would just be another day despite having a lover, dread that it would be uneventful even though you don’t ask for or demand much on this day. Dreadful that it would remind you that you have never been celebrated on this day.

If you find yourself in this category of the Valentine’s Day ‘orphans’, I know you might want to lash out and write your lover a thesis on how this day did not turn out special for you as you’d hoped. Yes, it is good to express yourself and vent- because you probably are the one always making the plans and not on the receiving end.

But whatever you do, here are some phrases you must never include in that thesis message to your lover…

  1. “I wish we could have been with other people instead”- if your partner is the type to ignore and undermine the significance of important days to you, like Valentine’s Day.
  2.  “I don’t need your pity gestures now”- in the event your partner scrambles to put something together to celebrate the day after your rant.
  3. “Next year, I’ll just make plans without you”- you are simply sending for your relationship’s end. For the next few days, weeks and months, breaking up will be an unspoken consideration in your relationship.
  4. “Why can’t you be like Kinuthia or Wanjiku?”- Comparing your lover to someone else and what they did for you or someone else before simply tells your partner you do not value them and only settled for them.
  5. “I wish I was single today”- don’t do it. You will regret this phrase the minute you send out that thesis message.
  6. “I guess romance is dead in this relationship”- You cannot afford to ruin a good relationship based off one day when there was no time, energy or resources for romance to be more alive than ever. Valentine’s Day s just one day, what about the other 364 days you were romanced proper?
  7. “You never make an effort to be romantic”- Why must you pile all the pressure of this day on your lover? What have you done for them to make the day romantic? Don’t lead a life where you constantly expect to be given when you cannot bring yourself to be a giver!