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We didn’t speak to each other in two years, Kate Actress on friendship with Idah Alisha


Kenyan actress Catherine Kamau aka Kate Actress has opened up about her enduring friendship with Idah Alisha during a candid conversation on a podcast dubbed ‘Sunday Wine Down’.

This insightful dialogue sheds light on the complexities of platonic relationships, revealing that they too require nurturing, communication, and understanding.

Kate beautifully encapsulates the essence of friendship when she speaks of growth as its most remarkable facet. Through the lens of companionship, she recognizes how far both she and Idah have come.

Regardless of geographical separation, their connection remains steadfast, a testament to the strength of their bond. It’s a sentiment that demonstrates the profound impact of a friend’s growth, enriching the lives of those who share in their journey.

“The most beautiful thing about friendship is growth. When you how much you’ve grown together, the distance didn’t even change anything. She has really grown, she’s like a mum to me in that she has different perspectives in life,” Kate said.

When it comes to friendship, effort is a currency that holds paramount importance, mirroring the investment made in romantic relationships. The symmetry of energy exchange is crucial; when it becomes lopsided, the essence of friendship dwindles.

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Kate emphasizes that friendships, like romantic partnerships, require mutual commitment and a symbiotic exchange. Should a connection drain rather than uplift, the authenticity of the friendship comes into question.

“Just like in romantic relationships, the same energy you put in you should apply the same in platonic friendships. They need work just like romantic relationships. The exchange should be symbiotic and if you feel drained then it’s not friendship,” she shared.

Kate’s vulnerability is unveiled as she admits to her own introverted tendencies, stemming from a guarded nature shaped by her profession. The realization that one’s openness can sometimes be exploited breeds caution, leading to the cultivation of a select inner circle. Here, the connection between friendship and trust becomes evident – the truest friends are privy to vulnerabilities that even romantic partners may not fully comprehend.

“I am not an extrovert, especially around people I don’t know. Actually, I am very closed. But also that came with my job because you open up and then it’s used against you, so you keep a small circle that way when you hear something, you know where it’s coming from,” the mother of two admitted.

However, Kate’s honesty doesn’t shy away from acknowledging the imperfections in her friendship with Idah. It is through her admission that a greater truth is unveiled: even the strongest of friendships experience trials. A period of two years without communication serves as a testament to the resilience of their bond. This hiatus, rather than a breaking point, became an opportunity for growth.

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“It’s not been a perfect friendship. There’s a time we didn’t speak to each other in two years,” she said.

“I am not a good communicator, I wasn’t. What I would do was pull back whenever there was an issue. For her she’ll communicate her boundaries and say what she doesn’t like and basically talk about it, but from her I’ve learnt to also reach out and communicate better.”

Communication is often touted as the cornerstone of any relationship, and Kate Actress’s confession about her own struggles with friendships is relatable. Her revelation about pulling back in the face of conflict highlights the common tendency to avoid confrontation. Yet, the maturity lies in learning from each other – from Idah’s proactive approach to setting boundaries and addressing issues head-on, Kate Actress imbibed the art of open communication.

Perhaps the most poignant aspect of Kate’s insights lies in her assertion that the heartache from a fractured platonic friendship can surpass the pain of a romantic breakup. The friends we confide in during moments of romantic turmoil often become the pillars of support.

The depth of such a connection can leave an indelible mark, and thus, the ego has no place in such relationships. Kate’s wisdom underscores that friendship necessitates humility, for it thrives on mutual understanding and unconditional acceptance.

“Platonic friendships, when they break they hurt more. It feels worse than a breakup because that’s the person you ran to when your love life was not working. They know more than your husband, or boyfriend. You cannot have an ego in friendships. It won’t work,” Kate Actress pointed out.

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