NN lifestyle: Build boundaries not barbed wires
When it comes to setting boundaries, one can easily get carried away and end up pushing away even people who mean them well.
It’s not an easy task to draw a line when it comes to relationships and dealing with people in general, however, it is very paramount to one’s mental health. In order to lead a healthy and more fulfilling life, one has to consider setting some ground rules on how other people should approach and deal with them.
In a world filled with manipulative and narcissistic personalities, it’s essential to one’s well-being that healthy boundaries are set so as to avoid being trampled upon by every Tom, Dick, and Harry.
However, it has become evident, and quite honestly concerning just how people nowadays take pushing people away as setting boundaries. There’s a difference between building boundaries and erecting barbed wires. Instead of letting people know how they should treat you, and what lines they should not cross, you end up pushing everyone away in the name of protecting yourself from negative energy.
In this regard, you end up pushing away even the people who genuinely love and value you at the slightest sight of disappointment or inconvenience. At the end of the day, you end up playing havoc with the good relationships you have.
It takes time to build healthy boundaries, be it at home, at work, at the gym, at the club, name it all. But one thing about building boundaries is that it’s more or less habitual. You need to give yourself time and develop the discipline to have healthy boundaries, which ultimately leads to healthy relationships.
When we speak of building barbed wires on the other hand, it just means that someone has been hurt rather deeply that they are not willing to take a chance on anyone ever again, so they prefer to simply lock everyone out. This is unhealthy because as human beings we were created to be social. You can’t do this life alone, and in so trying you will be lonely and depressed.
Everyone needs love and good company. And in this life, you will meet an equal share of good and bad people, but it takes discernment to tell the difference, and pick your tribe. Know the people who deserve the vulnerable side of you and those who deserve a wall. You can’t please everyone, but you can develop healthy relationships based of respect and mutual interest.
Boundaries are meant to protect you from manipulators, and as long as you keep them tight and abide by them, you will hardly be put in positions where you have to compromise your values just to accommodate other people who probably don’t even deserve your time and energy.
Be friendly with boundaries. And remember that building barbed wires only poisons your social life.