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Scorned Woman – Hit it and quit it: The hook-up cultured generation

When it comes to dating in 2023: it’s complicated. There’s a whole host of terms used to describe the nature of sexual and romantic relationships, from situationships, to friends with benefits, one-night stands, and “talking stages.” 

But even with an entirely new vocabulary to define dating interactions and intentions, there’s one description that still reigns supreme: “casual.”

Casual dating is not a new term in the dating scene as it was highly popularized in the 90s and early 2000s by TV shows like Sex and the City, Friends with Benefits, and No strings attached which is why the idea is so recognizable for millennials and Gen Zs.

The idea of casual dating has become more prevalent in recent years, and in this day and age, more people are afraid of commitment than ever before and would rather hit it and quit it before any emotional attachments are formed. 

Many young people nowadays argue that having committed relationships only makes life a little harder than it already is because people bring with them unreasonable expectations. It has become more concerning just how more people are becoming very comfortable with the idea of the hook-up culture citing the level of “freedom” to explore one’s interests. 

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But let’s be honest, casual relationships more times than not tend to be detrimental to women and greatly beneficial to men. It gives men the space to “use” women’s bodies as sex objects without having to be weighed down by the guilt of playing them. Not to mention the number of women orgasming from hookups or one-night stands vs men has to be 1 in 100.

We are living in a generation that views marriage and committed relationships as a prison following the myriad cases of breakups and divorce rates. Gen Zs are more woke than previous generations and have come to terms with the fact that loyalty in romantic relationships is slowly fading into oblivion. 

Just to add context, let’s review a recent survey released by the Kenya National Bureau of Statistics. Among many things to note, one thing, in particular, seemed to catch the attention of many; Kenyan men have an average of seven sexual partners in their lifetime while women have two.

A higher proportion of men than women reported having two or more sexual partners in the 12 months prior to the survey. 

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In the 12 months before the survey, nineteen percent of women had sex with a person who neither was their husband nor lived with them. Thirty-five percent of men reported having sex in the last 12 months with a person who neither was their wife nor lived with them. The average numbers of sexual partners are 2.3 among women and 7.4 among men.  

Casual relationships and hookups have been normalized even more by Gen Z’s with a section of them arguing that “it is boring to stick with one person for a long time”. 

However, one may start to wonder what the moral implications of this new cultural shift are. Does the societal acceptance of hook-up culture represent an era of destigmatizing uncommitted sex, or does it normalize taking advantage of others in the pursuit of sexual intimacy? Moreover, is it even possible for one to set healthy boundaries during an encounter that is meant to be ‘no strings attached?

It is therefore crucial not to engage in situations where one feels there’s great potential for a toxic or disappointing experience to unfold. If one chooses to pursue casual sex, it is important to be mindful of the intentions leading up to the decision and not engage in the act with ulterior motives. 

Because sexual intimacy holds the potential to be the most empowering or destructive experience one can engage in, it is critical that we remain aware of how our actions impact us and others, internalizing the importance of always treating others with respect and enforcing boundaries. With these positive qualities prioritized, casual sex can very well prove to be an emotionally fulfilling, safe, and positive experience for those involved.

Also read: Scorned Woman – If you really want to know your man, go through his phone